WHO I AM

Every once and awhile I wrestle with this question...who is Kerry?

What I'm really wrestling with when that question pops in my mind is...do I have any value? Do I have anything to offer? Do I have any real significance?

You see, I get sucked into the same trap most of you do while scrolling through social media. I can tend to start feeling smaller and smaller.

It reminds me of when I was in High School and ran Cross Country. I was so excited because I finally found a sport where I could blend in. Two hundred or so girls running in a one big heat. I got this. I may not be the first girl to cross the finish line but at least I won't be the last.

I'll never forget that first race. The start horn went off and legs were pumping. I was doing good. I was near the front for like a hot second. And then one by one the runners were moving in on me. My heart started racing fast. I was trying so hard to keep my breathing rhythm stable but my anxiety got the best of me. The harder I tried to move up, the more runners passed me...like eat my dust, bye Felicia! My heart rate would sky rocket and my breathing would suffocate me until I finally made it across the finish line. I was like #188 out of 200. Maybe even #198. It was horrible. Not even average. BELOW AVERAGE!

And that is the message I heard that day..."You are BELOW AVERAGE!"

I felt like everyone was better than me.

I went through years and years believing this lie. And several other life circumstances seemed to compound this feeling of insignificance. No matter how hard I tried I was still BELOW AVERAGE. There just didn't seem to be anything super special about me.

And even today I get bombarded with lies. Some days I just feel "less than." Whether it is being a wife, mom, friend, mentor, writer, blogger, homemaker, etc., Satan loves to bring up those feelings of insignificance and remind me of those Cross Country days.

So I have to guard myself with truth...

"Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began." --Psalm 139:16

And this sweet truth..

The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me. Father, I desire that they also, whom You have given Me, be with Me where I am, so that they may see My glory which You have given Me, for You loved Me before the foundation of the world. --John 17:22-24

And finally this verse...

From one man he created all the nations throughout the whole earth. He decided beforehand when they should rise and fall, and he determined their boundaries.

His purpose was for the nations to seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him—though he is not far from any one of us. For in him we live and move and exist. As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’ --Acts 17:26-27

So what does all this mean?!...

God had His affection set on me before the foundation of the earth.

I am not just happenstance. I am not an accident. He saw me when I was formless (before conception). One version even says He saw my unformed substance. And if he loved me even as he loves His son, then HE LOVED ME BEFORE THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD. He saw my unformed substance before He even clothed us with skin and flesh, and wove us together with bones and tendons [Job 10:11]. He loved us just as He loved Christ! God had His affection set on me before the foundation of the world.

Let that sink in and take root in your own life.

I am uniquely created and uniquely gifted.

The truth is I was not created to run cross country. I am not a runner. I probably will never be a runner. Although I like to run/jog at my own pace, I have other gifts and talents that the Lord has given me. I love writing, blogging, discipling women, teaching the Bible...etc... God created me very specifically that is in keeping with His mission. And same for you my friend.

What might that look like in your life?

The boundaries and designated time of my life was set by God before one of them began and according to God's good purpose. The place I grew up (Texas), the place I live now (Tennessee), all the circumstances I have gone through (the good and bad), the people in my life (family and friends)...are all part of God's sovereign design. He had set the boundaries of my life for His good purpose.

I am a Child of the King.

There is nothing more exuberant than this fact right here. And when I lost both of my earthly parents, this became even more signifiant to me. I don't know if you ever felt lonely. No matter what circumstances you have been through or the people you have lost along the way, YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE KING! And the glory which God has given to Christ, Christ has given to us so that we may have this wonderful relationship with God...a Father Daughter/Son kind of relationship. Oh, how I could go on and on about this truth and the implications of it. It is good stuff. Bask in it!

My message to you sweet friend is...YOU ARE ABOVE AVERAGE! Don't let the comparison trap get you down. The truth is, we are not perfect at everything. But we can know that we are uniquely created and placed for mission by God!

And never forget that you were esteemed highly BEFORE THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD!! Embrace who you are and live in light of these truths! Fight the lies with truth!

#beforethefoundationoftheearth #fearfullyandwonderfullymade #purpose #calling #significance #worthy #HolyGod

Kidney Transplants and New Hearts

Eli got a new kidney!

On July 23, 2018, ELI GOT A KIDNEY!

I was going to try to update here on this blog but things got overwhelming in the hospital so I took to updating on facebook...click here to read those updates.

It was a crazy whirlwind. The call we had been waiting for FOREVER (or at least that is what it felt like) finally came. Once we got the call to head to Nashville everything seemed so surreal and in fast motion.

It was a deceased donor so time was crucial. A lot of emotions come along with knowing someone has died and is able to give your son life. No words.

There are so many things I want to share about the whole experience, but this is what the Lord has laid on my heart today. It is better to give it to you in small doses anyway. This way you can take it all in. Chew on it a bite at a time!

The other day I came across this verse and for the first time it all made perfect sense to me. I don't know if it is because I have just gone through a kidney transplant with my son but for the VERY FIRST time I saw "heart transplant" in this verse.

The reason it makes so much sense to me now is because I started going through the process of Eli getting his kidney and equating it to a heart transplant. And here is what the Lord showed me...

We as believers have all had a transplant!

It is a heart transplant!❤️

And here is what I can tell you about your heart transplant friend. This is what I learned those twelve days in the hospital with Eli.

BLOOD IS SHED

There is no easy way about it. You have to be cut and it is going to hurt. You will get anesthesia but there is still going to be pain.

SOMETIMES IT TAKES TIME TO START WORKING

In Eli's case his kidney didn't start working right away. After surgery, his creatinine actually started going up instead of down and after some tests and exploratory surgery, they realize that the kidney had actually tilted and had kinked a vein leaving it to enlarge and cut off blood flow. Thankfully they were able to reposition it and normal flow returned.

WE NEED SKILLED HANDS TO HELP US ALONG

I can't even begin to think how we would have gone through this without the expertise of the doctors, surgeons and nurses. Each one was there to make sure everything was progressing like it should. Even if the nurses come in every hour to make sure you didn't get your sleep. 😊

FORGETTING TO TAKE YOUR MEDICATIONS IS NO JOKE

I think Eli takes about 9 different meds right now and some of those are more than one pill so probably about 11-12 pills a day...two times a day. So we are talking over 20 pills a day. Two of those are his anti-rejection meds that he will have to take the rest of his life. His body is seeing this new kidney as a strange object so his body is trying to fight it. So in order to keep his immune system from attacking the kidney, he is on immune suppressants.

So here is what I know about your "new heart."

1. Your human nature wants to attack your new heart. Satan is doing everything in his power to kill it. Your anti-rejection medication is THE WORD! Get into the Word friends! Grow deeper and deeper in love with Christ and He will be your shield and protection.

2. You need community! You need others! And not just anyone. You need those who know truth, those who are walking with Jesus. God puts them in your life to check your vital signs every so often and is equipped to get you back on track.

3. With your new heart is a new you. This doesn't just happen. It is the process of sanctification, being set a part and made holy. You no longer live according to your selfish desires, but you live for Christ who died for you.

4. In order for you to receive your new heart, blood was shed for you! You have the perfect donor and His name is Jesus!

Someone died in order to give you new life.

I don't even know what else to say...No words.

#kidneytransplant #newheart #shedblood #sanctification #deathandlife

Come to the Table

I picked up one of my favorite books the other day. It is one that stays by my side table by my chair in my bedroom.

It's called "From Tablet to Table: Where community is found and identity is formed" by Leonard Sweet.

"If we were to make the table the most sacred object of furniture in every home, in every church, in every community, our faith would quickly regain it's power, and our world sold quickly become a better place. The table is the place where the story of our lives are retold, re-minded, and relived."

We are made for story. We were created for story!

Each of us were created very uniquely, with a unique story. And within that story is a much larger story.

I have been learning my story for years. And it all started with sitting at the table. So many tables of those of the faith. There is a lost art of building community and sharing stories.

Now everything is electronic. We all stare at our phone at the dinner table, if we even have a dinner table. Most of us grab a meal on the go or we all eat in separate rooms. Who needs a dining table now a days?!

If we truly believe we have a story, then we need to find out how to share it. This is not a new thing. People have been sharing stories for decades. Jesus was mostly found sitting at a table sharing stories to different groups of people....people who listened. And it wasn't just His story He was sharing. He shared others stories as well.

"If we really want to learn someone's story, sitting down at the table, breaking bread together, is the best way to start. As we sit and eat together, we don't just pass food around: fellow diners pass bits of themselves back and forth as well, exchanging tale as ell as condiments."

Listen to my live video to hear more on this subject.

#yourstory #community #sharing #friends #family #food #fun #hospitaltiy